#The scaffold effect free#
Note: Though an advance digital copy of this book was provided free of charge, no compensation was made for this review and the opinions are exclusively mine. While no one wants to be compared to building material, this metaphor makes sense. This book also reassures parents that everyone makes mistakes sometimes and that change is possible even when behavior (the parent’s or the child’s) is seemingly already ingrained. An early chapter points out that parental burnout is very real, essentially making the point that parents need to tend to their own needs before they can effectively help their children. Parents will be happy to find that The Scaffold Effect provides solid parenting advice, in a way that is guilt-free. As children grow into teens and young adults, the parental role shifts to one that is more advisory in nature, but there is no magic age where children “become” adults nor should this be expected. When (not if) it is necessary, Koplewicz says, the scaffold may be put back up temporarily. Charts in each chapter address common mental health issues and break down which behaviors are normal, which may be a sign for concern, and when you should seek help.Īs children enter adulthood, the scaffold is removed, layer by layer. It also encourages parents to be aware both of their own biases and their child’s individual needs. The book suggests ways parents can help their children grow by using patience and warmth, dispensing discipline dispassionately, and monitoring without being intrusive. It explains that parents should set clear boundaries, offer guidance, and cheer their children on when they succeed, and help set them on the right path when they falter. The book presents common issues parents face and offers specific strategies to provide structure, support, and encouragement. They need parents to model communication and coping skills and to support them as they work on those skills. Children need to be taught what they should do and provided with the framework they will need to be independent adults equipped to deal with adversity. When children misbehave, he says, parents should use positive discipline not punishment. Throughout the book, Koplewicz focuses on building relationships.
When there is a need for some extra TLC or repair, the scaffold may be put back in place and then removed again. It presents the idea that parenting done well is like a scaffold: a protective, supportive framework put in place during periods of growth which is then removed when the structure is able to stand on its own. The Scaffold Effect, Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety is a parenting book that covers all stages of development, from toddler to teen. To that list we now add - building materials? Yes! In his new book, child and adolescent psychiatrists Harold Koplewicz likens parents to the lattice-like structure placed around a building as it is being built or repaired. In essence, parents have been called tigers, helicopters, snowplows, and lighthouses. There are lots of parenting styles which have prompted comparisons of parents to non-human objects.
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